What's with birthdays?

Up until a certain age, you are asked every year in the lead-up to your birthday "Are you excited to be turning <insert age>?"


For me, the answer is almost always no. Aside from turning 18 and preparing myself for the giddy excitement of approaching a bouncer/off licence counterperson with a sense of almost God-given entitlement to the right to purchase an alcoholic beverage, the idea of the digits I put down on forms changing slightly has for a long time not been one which has filled me with awe. Of course, when you are still in single digits, your birthday was Attention Day and consequently the most important day of the year after Christmas (and for me Halloween as well, but I had a thing for explosions and mischief, still do). Leaving aside those years, only 13 has ever seemed significant to me. I was officially a teenager. But even then, I didn't really understand the fuss.

Let's think about this for a second though. What exactly are you celebrating? Nothing changes on your birthday. You don't get taller or smarter. You don't 'level up' like you might in a computer game. The simple fact is that the Earth has made its merry way around the Sun one more time since you came into the world. But it hasn't. I was born at 8 minutes past 8pm on the 18th of August (the 8th month), weighing in at 8 pounds and 8 ounces. Of course this means nothing, but there is one important statistic there - 8:08pm. The Earth actually takes 365 days and 6 hours to make one full circle of the Sun, so really, apart from leap years I should be celebrating my birth on the 19th of August every year. First at 2:08am, then next year at 8:08am, then at 2:08pm then again at 8:08pm on the 18th of a leap year. To celebrate my birth in those exact minutes would be to know the planet is moving through the exact point in space it was so many years before at the very moment moment I was born. The actual date is not significant. I would propose a new celebration - that of the birthmoment or birthminute - but really, who could be arsed. I do like the idea of a general celebration - a birthmonth, I have elected to name it - around the fortnight before and after you were born. If you are going to celebrate another year older, why be specific to the day? And frankly getting presents for being older is a stupid idea unless you are really young or really old. Milestones? Really?

Of course, one thing I forgot to mention is that I recently did turn 21 (I should, at this point, point out that any birthday messages and/or presents I have recieved from people were of course very welcome and nice to hear/have! Though I don't quite get the principle, I do appreciate the sentiment). Unlike my 18th, 19th and 20th birthdays (which usually would have been cause for celebration) I decided to go all traditional and make an effort to have something like a party for my 21st. The rest can be explained in pictures...

Awesome haul - one is a cake and another is something I'd lost... Oh for the Christmases of years gone by!

This was what I had lost. If you are an dose like me and getting an iPod - get your home phone number engraved on the back of it (and your name - personal touch makes people feel guilty). It has twice saved my iPod from being lost forever! A kind stranger found this and called the number. Luckily my Dad was home to pick up.

Great cake. I do like a good cake. Pity no-one ate it.

More like it. Getting really drunk is what a 21st is really all about after all. No idea why. Answers on a postcard please. The washing up liquid at the end wasn't part of the session, but if it had, it wouldn't have been the most foul-tasting component. I'm looking at you absinthe.

So after all this we went out on the town. Long story short - I was wished a happy birthday by more people than I remember meeting and thrown out of more drinking emporiums than I remember entering. Ah well, you're only 21 once, might as well not remember anything past about 10:45pm. So I spent the rest of the night back at my friend's house slowly slipping further down the couch:

Having the time of my life.

Still having the time of my life - just slightly lower down.

Lower still - if any guys are finding this oddly attractive, don't fret I was attacked with make-up, and so probably look oddly feminine.

Just hiding the make-up. Really doesn't get any better!

Less than flattering photographs there, but it actually was a great night! Go figure!